October 23, 2009
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business as usual in my household…boiled eggs…
The other night, Dear Husband Bernie just about drove me crazy trying to make hard boiled eggs so he could take them to work for lunches. I was busy editing eBay listings on my laptop in the living room, and it went like this:
(him – in kitchen)
I just put them in boiling water, right?
(me – in living room, trying to work on laptop)
Well, yeah. Boil em 12 minutes then take em off the burner.
(sounds of pans clattering and then sound of running water)
Put the eggs in the pan first — then fill it up, so you get the right amount of water.
(sound of refrigerator door, then running water again)
Just turn the burner on and let them boil?
Uh Huh, but you can’t let them boil too much or they will break — bring it to a boil then turn it down a little so bubbles still come up but the eggs aren’t getting knocked around.
The water isn’t all the way covering them.
Well add more water — otherwise they won’t get cooked evenly.
(sound of running water again, then he comes into the living room and sits down to watch tv)
okay I added more water.
good.
(some time passes and he goes back into the kitchen)
how do I know how long to cook them?
use the timer.
but they stopped boiling.
turn the heat back up.
then what?
same as before — you don’t want them to boil too fast, or they will break each other.
(he comes back into the living room, sits down again)
you know the difference between a fast boil and a slow boil don’t you?
no, boiling water is boiling water.
not really — a fast boil is when the water bbbules a lot and that is when it boils over sometimes…you turn it down and the bubbles slow down but don’t stop, that is a slow boil.
(he goes back into the kitchen)
it stoppped boiling.
Great.
now how long do I cook them?
how long have they been in?
I don’t know!
didn’t you look at the clock?
well, I started them at 20 after, but then they didn’t boil right way, then I had to add water, then it stopped boiling again, then it boiled, but I turned it down and it stopped. so I don’t know.
how much did you turn it down?
I don’t know. you said turn it down, I turned it down.
I said turn it down a little, like, you know, medium high instead of high…
well I wasn’t here watching it, maybe I should have taken a book and sat next to the stove.
just bring it to a boil again and let it go for 5 minutes, it should be fine.
(he comes back in the living room and sits down)
I can’t believe you are having so much trouble boiling water!! We female-types take such things for granted. I think that we all learn to cook eggs first – I mean, the first thing we are allowed to use the stove for… probalby because our moms don’t really want to cook in the morning either. Don’t worry, worst thing that can happen is the yolk will be a little gooey, or the white will be a little rubbery…
(a few minutes pass and he goes back in the kitchen)
alright its been five minutes, now what do I do?
just turn the burner off and leave them there. if it boiled the whole time I would say take it off but a little longer while the burner cools will be extra insurance.
okay. can you put them in the fridge later when it cools?
fine.
…………………………..
Later that night, after he is in bed, and I am still working at the computer, I start feeling a little hungry, so I go out to the kitchen. See the pot on the stove and remember the eggs, which are now cool. I get a bowl, take two for myself, and put the others in the fridge.
Surprisingly enough, they were cooked perfectly. Well, hard to really screw up boiled eggs.
…………………………..
Next day, after work, he sat down in the living room, where I was working on the laptop again.
Did you eat two of my eggs?
uh huh, had to check to see if they were done.
and it took two of them?
yep.
beside that — what MORON only boils a half dozen eggs? especially when a dozen fit in the pan?
(he just shrugged)
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This man is going to retire from work soon. I am going to have him around the house 24/7.
I hope someone is preparing my padded cell.
