June 25, 2010

  •  

    I wish I could get back into the routine of blogging on Xanga.  Putting my thoughts down in words was such a liberating thing for me, and a good way to improve my focus.   Sharing my thoughts, my photos, my accomplishments and triumphs, my fustrations and dissapointments, and my general amusement at the absurdity of life in this world with the Xanga community was also very satisfying to me.

    So, what happened?

    I don’t know… life, I guess.  

    ♦ For a while it was foster dogs (I am no longer fostering, but still have four of my own, and still do volunteer work for Rescue in other capacities)  

    ♦ And, there was the beginning of Especially Fur You http://www.especiallyfuryou.com  — my latest business venture, which still takes up a lot of time, and I still struggle with the need to devote even more time to it in order to make it profitable. 

    ♦ Then, I gave in to peer pressure, and started a MySpace page (which I can’t seem to find the time for now, either) and then on to Facebook.  Joining Facebook has been a wonderful thing for me, I have reconnected with so many old friends that I thought I would never hear from again.  And, I am learning to express myself in a less verbose manner, due to the nature of the Facebook Wall.  (this is a real challenge for me)

    ♦ Underneath it all, I have the challenges of getting older, compounded with the cumulative effects of many injuries – the result of years of overworking my body, and on top of that, the whims of a jacked-up thyroid gland as I continue my battle with Hashimoto’s Disease.  And I continue to deal with several annoying sleep disorders, and the effects of being in a state of constant sleep deprivation.  Everything in my life is more difficult, especially physical activity.  My mind is not always clear, either.  I have trouble with concentration and with memory.  The dark spectre of depression is never far from me, either. 

    Some days it is all I can do to get out of bed and dressed.  Other days, the frustration of not being able to do the kind of things I used to take in stride is even worse than looking at all the unfinished projects and chores waiting for me.  The same ongoing hose and yard projects I was immered in when I used to blog regualry still went on, only slower and with greater difficulty.  And I continued to make art whenever I could, in a variety of media.  But finding time and energy just gets harder and harder.  How am I supposed to sit down and write entires in my online journal when I have all this other stuff facing me??

    But, I guess it is just a part of the natural rhythms of life.  Life is all about change, Nature never remains static.  I know in my heart that I am right where I am supposed to be at any given time.  My shifts in activities, both online and off, are just a part of the ever-changing, fluid stream of the passage of time.  When the right time arrives,  I will return to blogging here. 

    It is also the nature of the rhythms of life, I have found, for ‘false starts’ to occur.  This, I think, is a sort of ‘testing of the waters’ to see if the time is truly right to do something, rather than an error.  I have had that happen in all aspects of my life.  It definitely happened with my business.  In the fall of 2007 I hit the ground running, with the help and encouragement of my cousin, into this new venture.  Within a year, we had both discovered so many reasons that it was not going to work out the way we had planned, and that we each had different expectations.  Since then, I have gone back and re-worked the original plan several times, finally ending up where I am now, still redesigning the business, but with a clearer focus, and without my cousin playing a pivotal part.  I don’t view these changes as mistakes,  just as a part of the learning process, a part of the journey, the evolution of an idea. 

    I have also experienced many changes in my journey with The Drum.  After closing my store in 1999, I found a spiritual and emotional necessity to separate myself from many things, and allow the wisdom of time to sort some things out.  Drumming was among these things.  I never ceased my keen awareness of Rhythm in all of life, of the all-encompassing pulse, but I stopped making sounds on musical insturments for a few years.  I knew deep inside this was not an end to my drumming, that it was just a break, and that it was necessary.  Perhaps it was the time for me to really, truly, deeply Listen for a while.  Or, maybe because of the absence of producing Rhythm, I was to become more keenly aware of the Rhythm of the All around me, as my soul reached out in longing for the Pulse.  I don’t know.  I just know, in my heart, that learning the reason for the necessity of this break from drumming was also a part of the process, and just as important as learning to make those sounds on the drum. 

    I have since felt the Call back to The Drum.  Yet, I am returning slowly, testing the waters more or less. I have learned to accept what I once thought of as ‘false starts’ as just a part of the relentless forward motion of Time.  As with everything in my life, as I get older, I am just taking things slower.  I have not fully returned to Drumming in the totally dedicated way I once posessed.  Instead, it is just a facet of the myriad of things I am attempting to integrate into a new, more coherent (perhaps the proper adjective would be mature) focus in my life.  I fully trust that this, too, shall unfold in the way it was meant to be.

    Maybe this will also be true of blogging on Xanga.   I have made several attempts to return, and as evidenced in my archives, none of them came to fruition.  I willl not think of them as false starts, only as my efforts to reach out tentatively to see if this was truly what I needed in my life at the time.  When it is, I know that my visits will become frequent once again, and my words and pictures will once again appear on these ephemeral pages made of light and electricity.

    If any of my old Xanga friends are out there still, and reading this, I have not forgotten you.  Your words and presence were, and will remain, an important part of the weaving of the threads that make up my portion of the Great Tapestry.

    Namaste.

    -adifrentdrumr

     

February 15, 2010

October 31, 2009

October 30, 2009

October 23, 2009

  • business as usual in my household…boiled eggs…

     

    The other night, Dear Husband Bernie just about drove me crazy trying to make hard boiled eggs so he could take them to work for lunches. I was busy editing eBay listings on my laptop in the living room, and it went like this:

    (him – in kitchen)

    I just put them in boiling water, right?

    (me – in living room, trying to work on laptop)

    Well, yeah. Boil em 12 minutes then take em off the burner.

    (sounds of pans clattering and then sound of running water)

    Put the eggs in the pan first — then fill it up, so you get the right amount of water.

    (sound of refrigerator door, then running water again)

    Just turn the burner on and let them boil?

    Uh Huh, but you can’t let them boil too much or they will break — bring it to a boil then turn it down a little so bubbles still come up but the eggs aren’t getting knocked around.

    The water isn’t all the way covering them.

    Well add more water — otherwise they won’t get cooked evenly.

    (sound of running water again, then he comes into the living room and sits down to watch tv)

    okay I added more water.

    good.

    (some time passes and he goes back into the kitchen)

    how do I know how long to cook them?

    use the timer.

    but they stopped boiling.

    turn the heat back up.

    then what?

    same as before — you don’t want them to boil too fast, or they will break each other.

    (he comes back into the living room, sits down again)

    you know the difference between a fast boil and a slow boil don’t you?

    no, boiling water is boiling water.

    not really — a fast boil is when the water bbbules a lot and that is when it boils over sometimes…you turn it down and the bubbles slow down but don’t stop, that is a slow boil.

    (he goes back into the kitchen)

    it stoppped boiling.

    Great.

    now how long do I cook them?

    how long have they been in?

    I don’t know!

    didn’t you look at the clock?

    well, I started them at 20 after, but then they didn’t boil right way, then I had to add water, then it stopped boiling again, then it boiled, but I turned it down and it stopped. so I don’t know.

    how much did you turn it down?

    I don’t know. you said turn it down, I turned it down.

    I said turn it down a little, like, you know, medium high instead of high…

    well I wasn’t here watching it, maybe I should have taken a book and sat next to the stove.

    just bring it to a boil again and let it go for 5 minutes, it should be fine.

    (he comes back in the living room and sits down)

    I can’t believe you are having so much trouble boiling water!! We female-types take such things for granted.  I think that we all learn to cook eggs first – I mean, the first thing we are allowed to use the stove for… probalby because our moms don’t really want to cook in the morning either.  Don’t worry, worst thing that can happen is the yolk will be a little gooey, or the white will be a little rubbery…

    (a few minutes pass and he goes back in the kitchen)

    alright its been five minutes, now what do I do?

    just turn the burner off and leave them there. if it boiled the whole time I would say take it off but a little longer while the burner cools will be extra insurance.

    okay.  can you put them in the fridge later when it cools?

    fine.

    …………………………..

    Later that night, after he is in bed, and I am still working at the computer, I start feeling a little hungry, so I go out to the kitchen.  See the pot on the stove and remember the eggs, which are now cool.  I get a bowl, take two for myself, and put the others in the fridge. 

    Surprisingly enough, they were cooked perfectly.  Well, hard to really screw up boiled eggs. 

    …………………………..

    Next day, after work, he sat down in the living room, where I was working on the laptop again.

    Did you eat two of my eggs?

    uh huh, had to check to see if they were done.

    and it took two of them?

    yep.

    beside that — what MORON only boils a half dozen eggs? especially when a dozen fit in the pan?

    (he just shrugged)

    ——————————————

    This man is going to retire from work soon.  I am going to have him around the house 24/7.

    I hope someone is preparing my padded cell.

     

July 14, 2009

  • The family biz…

    sewing I was just busy in my sewing room, my awesome new machine humming away, and went into one of those contemplative states that I find myself in when all is quiet and peaceful, and I am working at something that I enjoy.  I started thinking about my relationship to sewing, and how many times over the years I have sat at a sewing machine, busy creating, and in that same calm meditative state.  it was then that I realized that it only makes sense that at least part of my business involves sewing.  It is the closest thing to a ‘family business’ I have.

    I have acknowledged since I started Especially Fur You with the help of my cousin Shirley and Aunt Mary that all three of us have years of sewing experience, from different approaches and disciplines, but still it all comes down to sewing.  Between us, we have over 130 years of combined experience!

    But it goes much further than that.  From what I know of my family tree so far, my …

    paternal great-grandmother (married name Ball, from Alsace-Lorraine) was a tailor

    paternal grandmother (Mabel Eggert, nee Ball) was dressmaker and did alterations for a living

    father’s sister (Aunt Grace Andicko, nee Eggert) does needlepoint and used to make hand-hooked rugs

    maternal great-grandfather (Frank Uszkay, in Budapest, Hungary) was a shoemaker — that involves sewing, too

    maternal grandmother (Mary Evans, nee Uszkay) worked for her brother — (my great-uncle) in a dress factory when she first immigrated from Hungary, and then after marrying my grandfather (William H. Evans) she became a typical farm wife, doing anything she coulkd to bring in a little extra money to help the family — this included making stuffed toy animals and doing various other sewing

    mother’s sisters, my aunts Mary and Agnes both did interior decorating work, making draperies, bedspreads and so on, and also some upholstery work

    mother didn’t sew for a living, but when she found the time, she enjoyed sewing various projects around the house, like curtains and chair cushions. 

    cousin Shirley (Aunt Mary’s daughter) designs and makes clothing, including the formal dresses she created when she owned and ran a bridal shop, and she has also done upholstery work and machine embroidery

    Down to my generation, the only woman in my “immediate” (extended) family — which I define as my grandparents, their children and their offspring — that does not sew is my cousin, Rosemarie, who is a hairdresser.  And of the ones who do (or did) sew, only my Aunt Grace and my mom just sewed for pleasure and never for a job.  Of course, times have changed, I guess, because the the generation after me doesn’t seem to have followed suit at all.  I don’t even think that any of them have any type of sewing or needlework as a hobby.  But, they are starting to produce the next generation (four girls and one boy so far, with another boy coming – the one whose baby shower was this past saturday) so who knows what those children will grow up to do. 

    Funny, I never really analyzed it this way.  But it really is a family legacy, the closest thing we have to a fmaily business, in a strongly matriarchal family.  In a way, I am just a tad dissapointed in myself for not being as much of a rebel as I thought I was, but on the other hand, it makes me proud to carry on one more tradition…

     

    needle

     

July 13, 2009

  • been a long time!

     

    Wow.

    It sure has been along time since I have been here.  My life has been crazy-busy.  I keep promising to start blogging here again (because it really does help me to organize my thoughts) but I never seem to find the time.

    I see that they have messed with Xanga again, and most of my links and graphics no longer work.  That happens all too often.  It is getting to be a real pet peeve of mine, too.  I have this site and my dogs site - dollyandpearl – on Xanga.  Also imakeart, which I haven’t used in ages.  AND also a myspace page (they are changing formats and messing with things too) a facebook page, and numerous little mini-profile pages on places like classmates.com.  that’s just the ‘social networking’ aspect of my online life.

    Then, there is eBay.  My eBay store www.especiallyfuryou.com, is now my main “job”.  Along with that I have my website, www.quickerchief.com, and on eBay, the “about me” page, eBay “My World” page, and eBay blog.  These things make up the ‘corporate identity’ of my online business presence.  And all seem to require constant updating and tweaking, even when ebay isn’t rolling out major revisions, changes in rules, and format ‘updates’!! 

    In order to effectively promote my eBay business, I am a member of numerous user groups on eBay, and maintain adspace on many other bulletin boards, lists and networking sites across the internet. All which require updates and revisions whenever their owners decide to ‘improve’ their pages.

    And then there are the Yahoo groups, where I connect with like-minded individuals to promote my products and gather information to help improve my business.

    And of course the webrings, connecting all of my various pages with other similar content online…

    On top of that I have a secondary eBay store, books-2-read, which is currently idle because I haven’t had time to keep up with it.  And my ‘online yard sale’ on eBay, under the id adifrentdrumr, where I occasionally sell household goods, clothes or personal items.

    In order to support all this stuff, and keep up with related correspondance, I maintain three separate email accounts.

    By the time I get done ‘making the rounds’, checking this, fixing that, updating the other one… it seems that I have no time left to actually get any real work done, or create any content of true substance.

    Is it just me, or, in this Internet age, are we all suffocating under the weight of communicatioin overload???

     

August 14, 2008

  • A serious plea for help

     

    Part of the reason why I have not been around very much on Xanga for quite a while is because for the past two years I have been devoting a lot of time and energy to my volunteer work rescuing, fostering, rehabilitating and re-homing homeless dogs.  In that time I have fostered and placed nine dogs, adopted three myself, lost one of my own original two dogs (my beloved Dolly) to congestive heart failure, and just a couple of weeks ago our eldest furkid, Tommy the cat passed away from old age (he would have been 21 next month!)

    Currently I have three foster dogs living with me, all seniors with medical issues.  One of them, who we call Sandy “Putt-Putt”, is in really bad shape, and has required me to give her 24 hour care for over 4 months now, with no end in sight.  The rescue group I volunteer for had promised to reimburse all vet bills and medical expenses for foster dogs, but we have paid over $1500 ourselves that has not been repaid by the group.  And now they are in serious financial difficulties, so it looks like we will not be getting repaid at all.  Sandy’s vet bills alone have been over $800 so far, and she is still undergoing vet care on a regular basis.  We are now running into difficulty ourselves because of these expenses, and it is limiting the funds we can spend for the care and training of our own dogs, as well as the care of our other fosters.

    So, I have set up a fund for Sandy’s bills at fundable.com.  It is set up for a limited time period, and with only eight days remaining, we still have quite a way to go before we reach our goal. 

    If you can spare a few dollars to help this sweet old dog, we would all be deeply grateful.  If not, maybe you know someone that you can forward the link to who might be able to help?

     

    Click on the picture below to go to Sandy’s page on fundable.com and read her story and how to donate. 

     

    help

     

    Thank you very very much from Sandy and the rest of the pack.

August 3, 2008

  • Death of an icon

     

    This from today’s news:

    Alexander Solzhenitsyn dead at 89

    The following song, one of my all time favorites, was inspired by the story of his life. 

    If you have never heard it, go download it right now and give it a listen –
    it features one of the most beautiful female voices ever, and a truly awesome piano part as well:

     

    Pays the price, works the seasons through
    Frozen days, he thinks of you
    Cold as ice but he burns for you
    Mother Russia, can’t you hear him too?

    Mother’s son, freedom’s overdue
    Lonely man, he thinks of you
    He isn’t done, only lives for you
    Mother Russia, can’t you hear him too?

    Punished for his written thoughts
    Starving for his fame
    Working blindly, building blocks
    Number for a name, his blood flows frozen to the snow

    Red blood, white snow
    He knows frozen rivers won’t flow
    So cold, so true
    Mother Russia-he cries for you

    Ooh ooh …
    Bah dah dah dah …

    Punished for his written thoughts
    Starving for his fame
    Working blindly, building blocks
    Number for a name,
    his blood flows frozen to the snow

    Red blood, white snow
    He knows frozen rivers won’t flow
    So cold, so true
    Mother Russia-he cries for you

    – Renaissance: “Mother Russia”