...On the eleventh day of Christmas

My true love gave to me...

Some peace and quiet all by myself with the furkids!

Ziggy washing her face on the ottoman in front of the fireplace

(yes, there is a stocking for each of the furkids, and Mommy and Daddy too)

There has been a strange sort of winter illness sweeping its way through this part of the country. My brother in York PA, my cousin down by the Jersey shore, and both of us have gotten it in various degrees and variations. As well as some people Bernie works with. It involves some stomach discomfort, headaches, and generalized achiness and fatigue. In other words, we all feel like we were hit by the same truck.  

Originally I thought I was feeling particularly wiped out as a result of pushing myself so hard too soon after surgery. But then my brother, who was supposed to come out on Saturday, told me he was sick and wouldn't make it, and then Bernie got simiar symptoms so I realized that I probably had it too. So we have been laying low, and just waiting for it to pass. This packs a double whammy for me, because I haven't felt like cleaning house or anything, and with Bernie home messing it up...well, you get the picture.

But today he went back to work, and I still didn't feel like doing anything. The damp rainy weather we are having (with temperatures falling, as well) isn't helping much. So I spent most of the day in bed. I didn't even feel like eating all day, but after Bernie came home from work this afternoon I got up, had some tomato-rice soup and goldfish crackers (yum!) and straightened up the living room a little bit.

I decided that lighting a firelog in the fireplace might make me feel better about the cold and damp, so I took these pictures before I took the Christmas stockings down to light the fireplace. I had promised some pix of my Christmas decorations, so this is a start.

Tomorrow is the traditional last day of the holiday so I will start gradually taking the decorations down and packing them away for the year now. I will try to get a few more pictures, too, especially of outside, if the weather cooperates. I usually take the decoratons down slowly, with the last of the greenery coming down just before Candlemas (Feb 2) and then I try to have some pretty Valentine-y stuff up in February...helps to take some of the dreariness out of the dark months of winter.

All-in-all it has been a pleasant and quiet Holiday season. Getting so much done before my surgery at the beginning of the month really helped. And I cut back quite a bit on spending and gift-extravagance. There was a real flurry of cooking and baking for a few days, and some people visiting us, and lots of eating and relaxing.

The back wall of the living room, our little white tree, and the "Christmas toys" that come out for the holidays each year.

The black blotch at the lower right of the above picture is Pearl, lying on a folded up comforter. The laundry basket is actually one of the cat beds that came here with Angel and Ziggy, but since they moved here from my brother's house they prefer the ottoman, daybed and my bed. Because of all the fur and other stuff (chewies, treat crumbs) I have to keep towels and throws on nearly every surface in the house, and wash them every couople of weeks -- the animals have as much laundry as I do!

I realized when I took these pictures that I haven't posted photos of the living room in a while. I have made some improvements and changes in the decor over the past few months. For instance, this is how this wall looked in the beginning of trhe summer when we first bought the futon:

same wall of the living room, June 2004

We found out after bringing the futon home that it was the singular most uncomfortable piece of furniture we had ever owned. Beside that, it was just too dark-looking. And we needed a new mattress at camp. So we took the futon mattress to camp, and put it on top of the old mattress we had there, making a perfectly comfortable bed in the trailer.

Then I bought some heavy-duty foam cushions -- one 5" thick for the seat and two 4" thick for the back. My cousin Shirley and I worked together to make covers for the new cushions, and now we have a much nicer piece of furniture in the living room as well as a comfy bed at camp. The red you see in the photo is on one side of the cushions, and the other side and edges are a khaki tan color. It is nice to be able to change the look by flipping them over for the holidays or whenever else I feel like having a punch of bright color in the living room.

Other changes since the last picture -- The art on the wall is a framed pencil rubbing on rice paper, of a relief of three musicians in fancy costume, we think it is from either Cambodia or Thailand. My brother and I bought it at an auction years ago, and it used to hang in the back room of my shop, then over my piano, but it was pewrfect for this wall - goes well with the Tibetan Buddhist "8 auspicious symbols" banner over the fireplace and Bernie's buddhas that appear, well, just about everywhere in the house.  We also brought up our old coffee table from the basement -- it is made of a thick slab of dark wood, bark and all, and the base is made of tree limbs. These tables were really popular about 20 years ago, but we still like them, and think they look good for the sort of natural, organic look I am trying for in the living room. I have two other slab tables in the living room as well, made of lighter kinds of wood. I will have to get some better update pictures of the living room another day, with daylight rather than flash. 

Surgery update:

Thanks to everyone who has been asking about my recovery. Nice to know people care. My sinuses are healing quite well according to the doctor (I missed my appointment monday and have to reschedule) and my throat is just about healed up. No more pain, but a sort of a numb or "dead" spot in the back of the throat (I don't know if that is supposed to go away or if it is permanent) and a little redness and swelling.

Unfortunately I still have no sense of smell. The doctor said there is still some swelling, and maybe that is the problem. I am hoping and praying that it isn't gone for good, but there is always apossibility of permanent nerve damage in the olfactory receptor area, which is about the size of a postage stamp. There was so much diseased tissue removed in that area, I hope it didn't permanently damage anything.

...this book was one of my Christmas presents (along with several other Stephanie Plum novels -- one of my "guilty pleasures" - the lightest reading I have ever done, but such fun!) I read it the other night, it is such fun!

Happy

!! NEW

YEAR!!!

Best wishes for a healthy, happy and prosperous 2005!

The soft blush of evening
Returns to the folded hills
The sky rains magenta
In praise of the shepherd's skills
The lion lies down beside the lamb
At peace in the holy ground.
The King is returning
And those that were lost are found.

The old moon is resting
She sleeps in the new moon's arms
The love of a mother
Eclipsed by her daughter's charms
The robin bares his wounded breast
And sings with a joyful sound.
The King is returning
And those that were lost are found.

The glory of Heaven
Explodes in the rising sun
The long wait is over
The new reign just begun
The ransom of the holly bush
Was paid when the King was crowned.
The King is returning
And those that were lost are found.

A symphony of harmonies
In one triumphant sound.
The King is returning
And those that were lost are found.

-- "The King" -- Dave Cousins (Strawbs)
- Old School Songs

A Christmas Story

                      -author unknown

Long ago in the deepest of winters all of the animals on earth were abuzz with news. "He is Born! HE IS BORN!" cried the snowy owl. "Come one and all" "Rejoice" roared the mighty lion. "Bring gifts to the new King" the deer hurried. The forest grew bright with the din of excitement. Every creature was rushing towards the star. The noise was so loud and joyful that it traveled distant lands.

In a quiet glen, under a bramble bush, a small lonely dog raised his head from his slumber and heard the sounds from afar. He raised his little head and wondered. Slowly he raised his tired body and sniffed the air. He knew something was amiss - but he knew not what.

A voice ever so sweet was singing in the distance, this he could hear. The words were not at all clear, but the sound was of waterfalls, and misty mornings and everything dear. Eagerly he followed the sound and soon saw a star. It shone so brightly his little eyes watered. What was this shiny thing that happily glowed? What could be happening that would bring about such a lovely sight?

His little legs beat the path for many days. He became tired and hungry but still he walked on. He had to follow the sound of that voice. The voice that reminded him of warmer and kinder times. He had to follow the light of the star. The star told him of happy things to come.

At last he came into a clearing, and his eyes beheld a mystifying sight. Animals were everywhere, and each had a precious gift. Some brought shiny berries from the forest, some brought beautiful leaves, some brought twigs from the rarest of trees and some even brought the most precious wildflowers of the field. They were laying these gifts at the entrance of a stable. Above the stable, the light of the star twinkled more brightly than before.

He turned to the deer and asked: "What is all this? Where have I come?" "You have come to see the new King. He is Born. Where are your gifts for this child?" asked the deer reproachfully. "I have no gifts.I didn't know." said the lonely little dog with his head hung low. The deer sneered and snubbed and quickly walked away as he tossed his head indignantly. The little dog's body trembled all over, his bedraggled tail tucked between his little legs, and his poor head hung lower than ever. He was ashamed. And yet, he still wanted to get a peek a the New King.

Quietly, ever so carefully, he crept over to the stable. He was so small he could easily hide under the other animals. Ever so sleekly he crept up to the manger and peeked inside. "WHO ARE YOU?" boomed the voice of the Lion. 'WHY DO YOU DARE NOT BRING GIFTS FOR THE NEW KING?!!!"

And the little dog cowered, much humbled. He laid his little head at the foot of the manger and hid his eyes. He was ready to be killed by the Lion, and yet he spoke ever so quietly, ever so meekly, ever so bravely: "I have no gifts, I have no berries, or twigs, or bright flowers of the field. All I have is my life, and I will gladly give that, for I have shamed all my brethren tonight."

He waited - with his eyes closed, thinking that if he did die tonight, at least he would die beneath the cradle of his King. That's when he felt a warm and gentle hand upon him. He did not dare to open his eyes, until he heard a woman's voice speak: "Do not fear, little one. You are safe here. This bramble in your fur speaks of the gift you have brought Him." The lonely little dog opened his eyes and looked at the woman. "But I have no gift to offer, save for myself, and that is very little." he shyly protested.

The woman smiled and scratched his ears. "Little dog, you traveled far to see your King. That is gift enough when it comes from your heart. What gift is more precious than one given in innocence and humility? No, little one, you are welcome here." As she spoke, she raised the little dog up. "Behold, your King, the Son of Man. You shall serve Him well." And the baby smiled.

So it came to pass and dog was lonely no more, and dog has served man ever since, loyal to a fault, and humble he remains. A gift from God to us- for who, but the dog will travel miles without explanation? Who, but dog, will cower from you even if he is not wrong? Who, but dog, will take a scolding even when he is not to blame? Who, but dog, is content to die at our feet if he so must?

This is our gift- Let us care for it well.

Dolly, age 6 - Christmas 2001 - her first Christmas with us

"paws" a moment to think about this:

'TIS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
(AT THE ANIMAL SHELTER)
-- author unknown

'Tis the night before Christmas and all through the town, Every shelter is full, we are lost but not found. Our numbers are hung on our kennels so bare, we hope every minute that someone will care.

They'll come to adopt us and give us the call, "Come here, Max and Sparkie ~ come fetch your new ball!" But now we just sit here and think of the days...we were treated so fondly ~ we had baby ways.

Once we were little, then we grew and we grew ~ now we're no longer young, and we're no longer new. So out the back door we were thrown like trash, they reacted so quickly ~ why were they so rash?

We "jump on the children," "don't come when they call", we "bark when they leave us," "climb over the wall." we should have been neutered, we should have been spayed, how we suffer the consequence of the error they made.

If only they'd trained us, if only we knew... we'd have done what they asked us and worshipped them, too. We were left in the back yard, or worse ~ left to roam... now we're tired and lonely and out of a home.

They dropped us off here and they kissed us good-bye..."Maybe someone else will give you a try." So now here we are, all confused and alone...In a shelter with others who long for a home.

The kind workers come through with a meal and a pat, with so many to care for, they can't stay to chat. They move to the next kennel, giving each of us cheer...we know that they wonder how long we'll be here.

We lay down to sleep and sweet dreams fill our heads...of a home filled with love and our own cozy beds. Then we wake to see sad eyes, brimming with tears ~ our friends filled with emptiness, worry and fear.

If you can't adopt us and there's no room at your inn ~ could you help with the bills and fill our food bin? We count on your kindness each day of the year ~ can you give more than hope to everyone here?

Just a reminder: If you can spare a few dollars this winter (or any time) please keep your local animal shelter in mind. If you can't give a donation, don't forget they also gladly accept old towels, sheets and blankets -- you would be surprised at how much bedding a kennel or shelter goes through!

It Was Christmas After All

                                                   -author unknown

                  


"Did you hear that?" the old dog shouted. They all ran to the front of their kennel doors to see if someone was coming to "pick them."

"Sorry," he said to the other dogs as his ears fell down from their perked position. "I could have sworn I heard voices saying, 'Isn't he cute? It's Christmas, can't we take him home with us?'"

"You must have been dreaming again old man," said the dog in the cage next to him. "Anyway, what's the big deal about getting picked up as a Christmas gift. We've all been through that routine and look where it got us."

The word "home" meant little to these shelter dogs. "Just once, I'd like to feel the warmth of a hand stroking my head," said the old dog. "I'd like to be the one who kisses the tears off a sad face. I'd like to curl up next to a fire instead of this cold concrete. It hurts my bones." He curled up and sighed as the others said, "The only place you're going to find that is in your dreams old man."

* * *

Hank's wife had only been gone a year but the pain was as fresh as if time had stood still. He was an old man now, alone and longed for the comfort that he knew no other person would ever be able to give to him again. What would his life become without her by his side?

Hank's cupboards were close to bare now and, although he didn't want to go out, he knew he should at least pick up the basics. He drove slowly down the side streets for freeway driving had become too challenging. Suddenly, the car started chugging and sputtering until finally the engine quit altogether. One of the basic needs he forgot was fuel for the car! So he coasted over next to the curb, spotting a building within walking distance. Hopefully, they'd let him use their phone.

He walked into an office area and rang the bell for service but no one came. He spotted another door going outside, failing to notice the sign posted "Employees Only". As Hank walked out, he was overwhelmed by yaps, barks and insane jumping from dogs all sizes and shapes. He then realized he had unintentionally gone to the dog shelter. Slowly he walked down the concrete aisle looking for an attendant.

* * *

Three kennels down on the right, the old dog calmly sat there. Why should the old dog get excited? No one would want him. But, he sensed a need and couldn't resist offering a kind look and a gentle wag of the tail. As Hank neared the old dog's cage, he laced his fingers through the chain link to steady his gait and the first feeling of comfort he'd remembered in over a year came from a wet nose and lick across his arthritic fingers. Just then a voice of authority sounded, and Hank jumped. "I'm sorry sir, you aren't supposed to be in this area!" she said.

Luckily Hank didn't know he had walked into the "final area" where unclaimed dogs were scheduled to be put down. There went the nudge and lick thing again. Hank looked down to the most pleading eyes he'd ever seen. Ignoring the attendants order to leave, Hank asked if could he see the dog closer? Her demeanor changed completely and her sternness melted away. She had forced herself to be this way so she could do the part of her job she despised.

She brought the old dog out and instantly the two souls -- once so lost -- found reason to hope.

* * *

Hank's cupboards were now filled, a warm fire crackled and the old dog smiled inside as he remembered "only in your dreams." Closing his eyes he felt Hank's hand stroking his head whispering "sleep in heavenly peace". It was Christmas after all.

No new blog.

But...

a new original background, inspired by the new quote in the quote box up at the top of the page.

Brightest Solstice Blessings

to all of my Dear Readers!

Have a Cool Yule if you are celebrating!

Lord Nelson in the 21st Century

**adifrentdrumr's note: I cannot take credit for writing this, it was posted on a message board I frequent, author unknown...

still hangin' in...

It feels much better to be able to breathe more clearly already, the sinuses are giving me very little trouble during the healing process. Nowhere near what it was like the last time. But now the tricky part begins...the bleeding and running has slowed down considerably, and what happens now is that it can get dry and crusty, which is not a good thing. I am using a saline nasal spray, but I haven't begun using my sinus irrigation machine yet, because when I tried to do it the other day it hurt, so I decided it was still a bit too tender in there for that. I think I will try it again tomorrow. It really helped my recovery last time to use it three times a day. I have also ordered nasal and throat rinsing tips for the water-pik, and between all of this stuff, I hope to not only make the recovery from this surgery go smoother, but also to keep the passages clearer and free of allergens and irritants in the future. Then maybe I won't end up with chronic infection again.

I have had a little pressure yesterday and today, a really mild sinus headache, but nothing compared to what I was having before. But I still haven't got my sense of smell back. I guess that will come as the inflammation and swelling goes down inside.

The throat, well, it still feels like I am swallowing razor blades. I still can't eat normally, and am living on a lot of buttered white bread with honey, chicken soup, tea with honey, scrambled eggs, honey on a spoon... well, you get the picture

Ice cream doesn't help. It actually makes it hurt more.

Dammit.

Anyway, I am getting lots of rest, am off the painkillers, and have a few things planned for the next few days, which ought to take my mind off the razor blades in my throat. I am going to a concert tomorrow night, and another one on saturday, and on friday I am going down to the shore where my cousin lives, and she is treating her mom, herself and me to some beauty treatments in a day spa -- I am getting a hot paraffin vitamin c spa pedicure -- doesn't that sound lovely?? I think that diversions may be just what the doctor ordered.

I will be seeing the doctor again on friday, before I go for my pedicure, so I will know more then about how the recovery looks from "the inside".

And then, before I know it, it will be Christmas.

I guess from Sunday on, the last preparations for the holiday will be my focus. I want to get some decorations up in the house (Bernie has to bring them down from the attic for me Sunday) and I have gifts to wrap. I may even do some baking if I feel up to it. It is a really good feeling knowing that I got all the housecleaning and most of my shopping done before I went for surgery. It seems I did the right thing there, at least.

Ugh. I feel like crap.

...and crap seems to be a big part of our world lately...

So I seemed to be recovering pretty well for the first coupleof days, but then got worse. Friday was okay, my cousin came over, took me to the doctor's and he said I was doing really well. I told him that I had no idea that the uvulectomy was going to hurt so mauch. He said, yes it would, and think of what it would feel like to have a tonsillectomy -- which I remember all too, well, since I had my tonsils out in an emergency situation (they were abcessed, and burst during the surgery) when I was 23. It was my first experience with surgery, and I recall the pain was unbelievable. But I was in the hospital for a few days receiving IV antibiotics and shots of Demerol after that. No such luck this time, I just have to deal with this pain with some tylenol with codeine and hoping that the sore heals up quickly. From all reports I have read, it gets worse after a couple of days, and then gets better.

He said he removed the uvula with a laser (high tech!) It left a spot like a canker sore, only about the size of a quarter, where the silly thing used to hang in the back of my throat. He said the uvula was pretty nasty, enlarged, no doubt, from the years of throat, ear, nose, and sinus infections that I have endured, and all the icky stuff draining alongside the uvula, which sort of "sweeps" the back of the throat. I know that when I have had sore throats, it has swelled up hugely, and looked like a big purple grape sometimes. I often worried it would cut off my breathing completely. So I am really optimistic that having it gone will make a big difference in my snoring and even my sleep apnea. Even with the swelling and irritation I have now, I feel like my airway is clearer when I lie down.

But what a sore throat I have! It hurts like fire sometimes when I try to swallow, and feels dry and like I have something stuck there (which I actually do, a big nasty burnt spot!) I have been getting some relief with the time-honored traditional remedy of pure, unfiltered honey, which not only soothes and coats the throat, but also has natural anti-infective and healing properties. I have been swallowing it directly off a spoon, about a half-teaspoonful every couple of hours, plus eating honey spread on buttered bread and rolls, and drinking lots of tea with honey.

I have always used lots of honey, I rarely ever use refined sugar for sweetening anything, except baked goods which absolutely require sugar in the recipes. I am a great believer in the healing properties of this golden elixir, especially when using the local kind, produced by bees from flowers that bloom nearby. Local honey is supposed to be a big help in de-sensitizing your body to the local pollens -- a great help for allergy sufferes. And I was reading recently that they now believe that because of its natural antibacterial action, honey can actually prevent tooth decay, rather than promote it like other sweeteners. This could be a part of the reason why I have had such good teeth, despite my fear of dentists and putting off getting my teeth cleaned and checked for five years at a time.

So I am slurping honey for my throat, sniffing saline solution to keep the nasal passages and sinuses from drying out, and hoping every day that the next day I feel better. Unfortunately this hasn't exactly been the case. I knew to expect the pain to get worse on the third and fourth day, because that's just how it goes when it's healing. But I still reserve the right to whine, complain and feel sorry for myself at least a little bit.

Friday my cousin and I were supposed to bake a couple kinds of cookies, too. You may remember this from my last entry. Well, it was a couple of kinds of cookies, but we did a double batch of one (filled pastries) and a triple of the other (filled gingerbread -- one of my favorites -- they are filled with a date and apple butter filling). We managed to get them all done for her office cookie exchange, and I have leftover filling for another batch of gingerbread when I am feeling a little better. She also made the covers for the back cushions of the daybed. She still has to come out again one day to cover the bottom of the daybed frame, but it is going to look really nice where it is finally done. I think we will have enough fabric left for the cushions on my grandpop's rocker, too.

Little by little, the living room is getting finished. Three steps forward two steps back, though, as far as keeping it clean goes. Poor Bernie had to deal with a mess today (since I can't bend or lift for at least another week) It seems that at least one of our cats, I think Angel, has been having tummy problems, most likely the ongoing hairball situation that Angel has been dealing with. Yesterday she threw up all over a blanket and the ottoman she usually lies on, and I was able to clean that up, because it was up high enough for me to clean up without bending too far.

This morning I got up, and Bernie was pointing to a mess that was half on the floor and half on the dog's pillow behind my computer. He said he thought it came from Dolly and there was more on his bedsheet. He wondered which end it came from. I figured out that it was dog puke, as a result of her eating the nasty soft cat poop that was in the bathroom litter box -- another result of Angel's hairball -- it has her digestive system in a mess, and nothing I am giving her for it seems to be getting it to pass properly.

Dogs love cat poop. It is just a disgusting dog habit, and it has a basis in Nature and instinct. In the wild, it would be a legitimate food source for a canine scavenger, because of the cat's inefficient digestive system, it is a fairly decent protein source. But in the house, where everyone gets plenty of good food, it is just a disgusting habit, and requires constant vigilance on the litter box. Which I am not able to maintain right now, because I am having a hard time just getting over this surgery. Usually if the dogs eat some normal healthy cat poop, and don't get much litter along with it, they are okay. But when it is abnormally yucky cat poop, like this was, it can make the dog sick, and quick!

Well, I had to talk Bernie through the clean-up. What cleaning products to use, etc... And like most men, he is extremely squeamish about the stuff that women are designed to clean up on a regular basis, as part of our natural role as childrearer and nurturer. He cleaned up the floor and stripped his bed (the sheets needed to be washed anyway -- it was about that time) I noticed that Dolly was acting like she didn't feel very good at all, so I had to get him to pick her up so I could pour some antacid/antigas liquid down her throat. The regular human kind, Maalox or whatever is handy, usually helps minor tummy upsets, and a spoonful did the trick for her. But not before she puked on the ottoman, two more spots on the living room floor and all over one of her stuffed toys.

So poor Bernie got a crash course in cleaning up pet messes. And a "welcome to my world"  I usually have at least one or two pet messes of some sort to deal with every day. Goes with the territory. I feel bad that I am not able to do things like clean this stuff up, especially since I see Bernie having such a hard time with something that is pretty routine to me. But I am trying not to bend over or lift anything for at least a week or two, and hopefully we won't have any more incidents now, at least not to this extent. He still has to do two loads of laundry, one of his bedding and one of the dogs' pillows and the poor stuffed toy that got in the line of fire...

Thanks again for all of the well-wishes. I appreciate the good healing vibes and comments left here. Especially since all I can really do is go back and forth between bed, computer and tv right now, everything else is just too hard for me to deal with.

In answer to comments left on my last entry -- the hospital gown closed in back, so the view that everyone got in the hallway was of my big fat pink ass. I honestly thought that I was holding the gown shut far enough in back, but apparently it didn't reach. And no, I didn't die of embarrassment. I don't embarrass that easily, as far as simple shows of skin go...other things, maybe, but I actually found the full moon more humourous than anything else. After all, I TOLD them I needed a larger gown! It seems the nurses were more upset than I was.

Anyway, I did a few of those quiz-thingies while I have been sitting around here at the computer. I thought these were uncannily accurate in some ways:

Your Element Is Water

A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious. That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep. Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily. You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others. You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves. You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.

Your Dominant Intelligence is Spatial Intelligence

You've got a good sense of space and how the world around you looks. You can close your eyes and "see" images. You have innate artistic talent. An eye for color and shapes, you're also a natural designer. Since you think in pictures, visual aids and demonstartions help you learn best. You would make a good navigator, sculptor, visual artist, inventor, architect, interior designer, or engineer.

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul