THE NEXT “SURVIVOR” SERIES:

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of “pretend” bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.
He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child  to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they’re about to leave for vacation).

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
There is only one TV between them, and a remote with dead batteries.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewellery, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed.
The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00.
They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child’s birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor’s name.
Also the child’s weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of
labour, each child’s favourite colour, middle name, favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, “You’re not the boss of me”.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins — only if  he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years…eventually earning the right to be called …. MOTHER

My mom and I had a sort of ‘special thing’ with yellow roses. They have always been my favorite, and she would surprise me with them now and then for some special occasion. I had a special bouquet made up at my wedding with all the flowers that were special to me and my mom, it sat on the altar, then behind our seat at the reception, and later went on to my mom’s grave. Then when my dad passed away, I had one yellow rose tied in a blue ribbon tucked into his casket with him as a special thing from me, with the memory of my mom… Special memories, extra meaning for my favorite flower.

My mom has been gone 25 years (on May 1) — she was with me for such a short time, and since she passed away the year after I graduated from college, I regret never having time to really get to relate to her as adults, like so many older women do. We were just barely getting past those rocky and rebellious teenage years when she was taken from my life by the Big C.

My mom and I, in front of the roses that grow outside the side door of the house – Rider College graduation, 1980.  She was a professor at Rider, and we marched together at the graduation ceremony (more or less – she was in the School of Education, and I was in the School of Liberal Arts)

Little did either of us know that less than a year later, she would be gone…

So this yellow rose is in memory of my mom, and for all the moms out there as well.

And please, let it be a reminder to you, that if you are lucky enough to still have your mom in your life — no matter what the condition of your relationship — to be grateful for the gift of the time you have together.

 

 

The following is a public service announcement:

BREAD is Dangerous!!

I stole this from soul_survivor

You can only type one word. No Explanations.

(Errr… One explanation is okay)

Well, there go all of my big plans…

I spent most of the day yesterday cleaning up indoors, and then made a nice dinner for Bernie and myself after he came home.  We went to the grocery store the night before and the fridge is thoroughly stocked with possibilities for meals, my kitchen is (mostly) clean and in order, and I am caught up on laundry.  I had taken it easy with the yard work for a couple days, and my knees and ankles were no longer screaming at me, and they were predicting nice weather until late thursday night, so I had high hopes for tackling the outdoor projects once again. 

There is still so much to do out there, just getting the weeds and sticks out of the beds and the first spring fertilizer down is a big enough chore, but I have also started cutting in the edges of all the beds, because as time passes, the mulch travels into the lawn and the lawn starts growing into the mulch.  So it helps to cut a new edge, kind of a little trench, around the bed  to tidy things up before putting fresh mulch down.  I am using what I am digging out of the edges to build up a low spot on the other side of the yard, where this year’s Big Project, the butterfly garden, is going to be.  I have most of the truckload of topsoil I had delivered a few weeks ago still under a tarp, waiting to go to various parts of the yard, including on top of the butterfly garden bed when I am done dumping all the stuff I am digging out of the other beds into it.  So, as usual, one project is contingent on getting another finished, and so on… And there is only so much time left before it gets too hot out to do a lot of the heavy stuff.

So last night, after dinner, I went out to the front yard to do a little bit more on the edge of the foundation planting.  I was out there anyway, to turn the sprinkler on my newly seeded grass, so I figured I would get a head start on what I had planned to do the next day.  It was such a pleasant early evening, a bunch of little birds were keeping me company (I was working just under the tree where the feeders are)  and it felt good to get a little exercise after dinner.  I filled one wheelbarrow with dirt and weeds dug out from half of a section of the edging, and wheeled it over to dump on the other side of the driveway.  Then I filled the wheelbarrow once more with the rest of the section.  Job well done, enough for one night. 

I pushed the wheelbarrow over once more, and just as I reached the spot where I planned to dump it, I felt this sudden sharp pain as something went “ping!” in my left calf, toward the inside, where the calf meets the ankle.  This was followed by a feeling that was remarkably like a charley horse, the sudden leg spasms I get sometimes during the night. This couldn’t be good…

My lower back was also giving me some trouble, and I didn’t want the knees to act up again so as soon as I put my tools and things away outside, I came in and got into a hot bath with Baththerapy Sport formula bath salts.  It felt great to soak, as it always does, and I felt my back pain just melt away.  Knees and ankles felt great, too.  But the nagging pain in the calf refused to budge, despite my efforts to massage it away.  I realized then that this had to be more than just the usual overwork-of-the-old-fat-broad’s-body-type ache.  I did some damage and that “ping!” I felt just proved it.  I had felt a similar ping once before when I tore the ligaments in my ankle, but this seemed a little bit different. 

My suspicion was it had to do with the calf muscle, where it met the ankle tendons.  This morning it felt pretty bad, but the charley horse had spread out a little bit and was more of a steady ache.  Plus it really hurts to flex my foot, and even more to bend the opposite direction , going up on my toes.  I have been gently stretching it a little every so often since it happened, because it seems the muscle has gone into spasm, and that was what I was feeling as a charley horse.  Last night it the whole calf and ankle was rock hard, too, more of an indication of spasm.  But today it seems to have softened a bit, and the pain has changed, like I said, to a steady ache.  I took an 800 mg ibuprofen last night, and as soon as I get something to eat, I will take another.

Just to be sure what I was dealing with, I did some research online this morning, and I am pretty sure that what I am dealing with is a calf muscle (gastrocnemius) strain, of a level I intensity.  This is the least severe of this type of injury, involving micro-tears in the muscle fibers, caused from a sudden pull or contraction.  I must have stepped down on an uneven part of the driveway when it happened, and it must have pulled my already overworked muscles in precisely the wrong direction.  Because there is no swelling or bruising, it is probably only a level I.  According to what I read online, with the standard RICE (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation) treatment and anti-inflammatory drugs for the pain and inflammation, and gentle stretching followed by strengtening exercises, this should get better on its own in two to four weeks.  Two to four weeks!!!???  I don’t have that kind of time to sit on my arse with my foot in the air!!   And furthermore, it won’t be completely healed, and therefore will be easy to re-injure, for about eight weeks.  That’s midsummer!!   And, as most of the information I read warned, if it is not properly treated and allowed to heal right now, it could become a chronic (repeating) injury.

So here I sit.  I am not going to bother taking this to the doctor unless it gets worse or makes no improvement in the next couple days, because I have had enough of this type of injury in my lifetime to know what I am dealing with.  He wouldn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know.  And I guess I will just have to figure out stuff I can do while being off my feet.  Maybe I can crawl around on the ground to pull weeds…

Or maybe I can just go into hiding for a few weeks.

OOPs! Forgot to make this public…

the beginning of this post is a reprint of a classic post. today’s update is at the bottom.

…time to dance the Merry Maypole ’round and sing Hal an Tow…

Brightest Beltaine Blessings to One and All

as we welcome in the May

Hal an tow, jolly rumbalo
We were up long before the day o
To welcome in the summer
To welcome in the may o
For summer is a comin in
And winter’s gone away o

Take no scorn to wear the horn
It was the crest when you were born
Your father’s father wore it
And your father wore it to

Hal an tow, jolly rumbalo
We were up long before the day o
To welcome in the summer
To welcome in the may o
For summer is a comin in
And winter’s gone away o

Robin Hood and Little John
Have both gone to the fair o
and we will to the merry green wood
To hunt the buck and hare o

Hal an tow, jolly rumbalo
We were up long before the day o
To welcome in the summer
To welcome in the may o
For summer is a comin in
And winter’s gone away o

What happened to the Spaniards
Who made so great a boast o
It’s they shall eat the feathered goose
And we shall eat the roast o

Hal an tow, jolly rumbalo
We were up long before the day o
To welcome in the summer
To welcome in the may o
For summer is a comin in
And winter’s gone away o

And as for that good knight, St. George
St. George he was a knight o
Of all the knights of Christendom
St. George is the right o

Hal an tow, jolly rumbalo
We were up long before the day o
To welcome in the summer
To welcome in the may o
For summer is a comin in
And winter’s gone away o

God bless Aunt Mary Moses
In all her power and might o
May she send peace to England
Send peace by day and night o

Hal an tow, jolly rumbalo
We were up long before the day o
To welcome in the summer
To welcome in the may o
For summer is a comin in
And winter’s gone away o

- traditional Cornish May Day (Beltaine) song

The Pagan holiday commonly known as May Day or Beltaine celebrates the fullness and fertility of spring as the Wheel turns toward summer. As the third and final “planting holiday” of the year it is traditionally the time when the planting of the seeds for the year’s crops are finished. Lavish celebration and partying would happen outdoors to mark the completion of the hard work of tilling and planting, the passing of the harsh, lean winter season and the beginning of the pleasant and abundant summer season. The alfresco lovemaking in the fields and groves which often followed these activities was a sort of Sympathetic Magick, quite literally encouraging the plants to be fertile and bear fruit by example.

The tradition of the MayPole was brought to the British Isles by the Romans. It was a part of their springtime rituals in honour of the Gods and Goddesses of fertility. Although this practice faded away by the late eighteenth century, it is now experiencing a fairly widespread return.

One of the quieter and lesser known traditions associated with this day is to bathe one’s face in the early morning dew to bring the blessings of youthful beauty. Another is to ritually ”wake up the trees” in the orchards, greeting them in the morning with libations and brightly colored ribbons tied in their branches.

click here for more information on the song.

click here for even more information on the song and the holiday.

Well, one more year that I didn’t go out to wash my face in the dew… I suppose I could have tied ribbons on my brand new apple trees, but I imagine the planting process was enough to already wake them up!  The apple trees are doing just fine, even blooming a bit (often, when transplanting, the buds fall off) and the new patch of grass between the apple trees and the driveway got its first mowing this weekend.

We finally finished the first mowing of all the lawns yesterday — it takes a while because of all the fallen limbs and sticks that need to be picked up from the winter, plus having to get the three mowers running after being in storage.  No big surprises lately, the self-propelled push mower needed work when we put it away, and Bernie just ordered the parts.  It runs, but you can’t engage the self-propelled feature, so you have to push it.  No big deal, it is a bit heavier than my “big wheel” push mower that I use for doing the edges of the creek, but it’s fine for pushing the flat areas where we can’t mow with the riding mower.  The riding mower surprised us — it didn’t even need its battery charged — started right up! Figures, that’s the one that Bernie uses.

I have been working constantly on weeding, feeding, and cleaning up the perennial border along the driveway. It is by far my most ambitious project, the biggest of the beds, with sections of shade/dry/poor soil, sun/dry/poor soil, sun/good/moist soil and shade/poor moist soil (a real challenge) — plus it is frequented by deer and rabbits. But I like a challenge, and always wanted flowering plants along that side of the driveway (and apple trees on the other) so that border consumed a lot of time and cash last year. So far this spring, most of the plants are coming up nicely, and I have already added a few new ones to the empty spaces.  I moved five Astilbe plants from the shade garden on the other side of the house to the driveway border, under the maple tree, because their bronze leaves will look great in that space, and they thrive even in the worst soil in the shade.  I will be replacing them in the shade garden on the other side of the house with a bright green-leaf variety, which will show up better in that area.

I also hooked up a soaker hose irrigation system in the top 1/3 of the perennial border, where the soil gets very little moisture do to the leaves of the maple tree and its exposure to the wind (it’s a little hill) I have the same system set up in my rose beds, the bamboo grove and along half of the northern foundation planting of the house.  It is very water-efficient, works really well, and saves me from dragging hoses and sprinklers all over — I just hook a shorter hose from the outdoor faucet to the beginning of the soaker hose. I get good enough water pressure on that side of the house (it is closest to the well pump) so I will be able to add more hoses to the end of that one and eventually have the entire bed on a soaker system. I re-cut the edges of the driveway border, and it is all ready for mulch now, and hopefully some decorative rocks.  The mulch will go right over the soaker hoses so you won’t even notice them when it is done.

The next project is cutting the edges, weeding feeding, and eventually mulching the foundation planting beds — starting with the front of the house and working around to the shade garden on the northeastern side, where I will be enlarging the beds a bit to accomodate the rapidly growing perennials there. As I cut the edges, I am hauling the excess soil and sod that I cut out around to the corner by the driveway where the butterfly garden will be going. I want that garden bed to be a little hill, instead of the depression in the lawn that it is now, so this stuff is good, free fill for it.  When I am done with all the edges on the other beds, I will put a thick layer of fresh topsoil on the butterfly garden and it will be ready to plant. It already has a lilac bush and two butterfly bushes (buddleia) and I just found a (fairly local) nursery online that has the dwarf double mock orange shrub that I want to anchor the other end of the bed. I hope they are in stock when I get around to driving up there, because I prefer picking my plants in person toordering them sight unseen.

So, as you see, I have been spending lots of time in the bosom of Mother Nature,  making things pretty and wearing myself out in the process. This year my knees. ankles and feet are giving me more trouble than they have before, and my lower back as well.  The combination of extra weight, extra years and winter intertia has really dumped a triple whammy on me.  But it is worth every ache and pain to be able to look out of any window in the house and see a beautiful scene.

I promise pictures soon, but now we are in “intermission” — the spring bulbs and flowering trees are just taking their final bows, and the rhododendrons, azaleas, and irises are standing in the wings, waiting to burst onto center stage.  The raucous, gaudy annuals have not yet been planted, and the majority of the perennials are just beginning to emerge from the ground. The only thing blooming right now are a few delicate early spring perennials in sheltered areas, and the pansies in my wheelbarrow planter by the door.

Have a Blessed Beltaine, whatever you are doing, and don’t forget to stop and appreciate Nature’s beauty and wonder all around you!!

A Royal Happy Birthday

To an enduring icon…

and please, please, Your Majesty –

Tell us what it is that you carry in that purse!!

Pretty, aren’t they?

freesias

I don’t grow these, but they are such delightfully fragranced spring bulb-flowers.

The reason I have posted them here is to share my joy — for the past few days, my sense of smell has been back.  I have resigned myself to just dealing with it coming and going as my sinuses do their thing, but when ‘my nose works’ I gleefully run around smelling everything! And what a wonderful time of year to have a functional nose.

Never take the little things for granted.  Now and then take the time to stop and (literally) smell the roses. And the hyacinths, and the petunias, and the freshly mown lawn, and your orange juice at breakfast, and the spring rain, and your lover’s hair, and fresh ground coffee, and your bubble bath, and…..

the view from my bathroom window

Today I am taking a break today from yard work, housework, and life in general.  My knees have been killing me, and as I fully expected, my poor out-of-shape body is rebelling in a big way to my return to warm weather activity levels.  So I am have been spending today mostly in bed, the only way I can really keep the legs elevated to the proper level and mostly immobile, so things have a chance to heal and come back stronger for me to get back to work tomorrow.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t get to enjoy the fruits of my labors… I have a lovely view out of virtually every window in the house.  While designing my landscape, I specifically made plans for things to look good not only from outside, but from the inside looking out. 

And today I was treated to a beautiful sight — the crabapple trees literally burst into full bloom! So I took these pictures out my bathroom window:

the view from my bathroom window

close up of crabapple blossoms

Beside being beautiful in the spring, and the centerpiece of one of my favorite garden beds, this tree is very special because of the story it has to tell.  When I was a little girl, my grandmother had a crabapple tree in her back yard (next door) She had either planted the seeds, and grew two little trees, or dug up little trees that had grown underneath from fallen fruit, but one way or another she ended up with two little crabapple trees growing in paper cups on the window ledge in her breezeway, where there were always all sorts of plants in all stages of growth. 

One day, when the trees had gotten big enough to plant outdoors, she brought them to us and told us that they were for me and my brother — ‘our’ trees.  Mine got planted outside of my bedroom window, which was right next to the bathroom window, and the larger one, my brother’s, got planted outside my parents’ bedroom window.  And now, some forty-odd years later, they are still there, blooming beautifully every spring, and making loads of little tart fruits that the deer feast on in the fall.  My parents’ old bedroom is my bedroom now, and my old bedroom is currently storage, but ‘my’ tree has grown to where the branches hang down over the bathroom window.  They seem to have some kind of ‘blight’ or something that is common to crab apples around here, and lose most of their leaves mid-summer, but are otherwise growing strong.

This north-eastern side of the house is virtually hidden from view from most directions, unless you are right out there in it.  There is a clear view of it from the windows, and also from my hammock in the back yard,  but the cabana and the spruce trees block the view from the road and the neighbors beside and behind us.  It is a moist and shady area, and has become one of my favorite garden projects. We call it ‘the enchanted forest’. It’s beds and borders contain a variety of shade loving perennial plants with all sorts of interesting colors shapes and textures of foliage, and a changing show of blooms through three seasons.  And then, like magic, all but a few of them disappear into the ground for the winter, only to re-emerge again in the spring.  Right now, the very earliest of them are making their appearance, and the first blooms on this side of the house are courtesy of two little pulmonarias and the crabapple trees.

The enchanted forest also features a stepping stone path leading to a bench in a nook under a spruce tree, a low rock wall around one bed along the fence, a rustic birdbath, and a variety of whimsical lawn statuary.  The main feature is the ‘drum circle’ — a group of fanciful drummers: metal and resin fairies, gnomes, and forest critters, all playing different kinds of drums, and a pair of flying pigs dancing in the center.  This ‘drum circle’ has been growing over the years, as I find more drummers to add.  I have been haunting the garden sections of the stores already this year, looking for this year’s offerings, but have found no drummers yet.  I think I will eventually add some white gravel to the circle, after I refresh the mulch on this bed — it has gotten far too thin in places to do its job of keeping weeds down and moisture in.

I get a big kick out of seeing these little drummers every time I look out the bathroom window, year ’round.  Here is a close up of the ‘drum circle’ from my bathroom window today:

one of the frogs is lying down on the job — it has been a bit windy

Meanwhile, on the other side of the house, I have a big pile of dirt to deal with.  Last week I got a truckload (9 tons) of topsoil delivered, and the first projects of this year involve moving a lot of it around.  No wonder my body aches!  I planted 4 semi dwarf apple trees along one side of my driveway, and when I clear out a little more of the dirt pile, I have one more apple tree to go in that spot.  I also planted a second weeping willow down by the creek, since the other one did so well there.  I filled in some holes and low spots in the lawn along the side of the driveway where I planted the trees, and spread grass seed on a big section of it (about 1/3 of the total area which is needs to be re-graded and seeded)  Next I start work on the butterfly garden which is going to be at the end of the driveway where we park. 

And of course, in between working on these projects I have been doing all the regular chores involved in waking up the yard for the summer — weeding and raking the established beds, picking up the sticks and limbs that fell over the winter from our old swamp maple trees and spruce trees, and spreading fertilizer with pre-emergent weed controller in the established beds.  I have been raking leaves from around foundations, getting the hoses out and hooked up, and the patio furniture out of the cabana and onto the patio.  Yesterday we got out the two push mowers, and started one up and mowed the small patch of lawn next to the breezeway door where the grass always grows higher and quicker than everywhere else.  Next I need to mow the back yard inside the fence, where the dogs have been ‘watering’ it.  And the riding mower will probably come out next weekend…

More photos to come soon…

I hope you are enjoying the arrival of Spring, Dear Reader.  Have a great day and a better week!

I’m taking a break from Spring cleaning to post this:

Just another pussy photo…

Angel and Ziggy in my bed –

aren’t they just too cute when they sleep like this?